Kevlar soul
by Jens the Homo
Summary: Falling in love with your best friend is never easy, especially if said friend is in love with someone else.
1. Chapter 1

**Warnings: **One-sided KagaKise, AoKise, abusive relationship, language, angst. AU.

* * *

The thing Kagami remembers best from high school is the way Kise looks at the asshole (known as Aomine to other people). They've been friends forever, Kagami and Kise, and yet the expression Kise has around Aomine is entirely new to Kagami. Before that, Kagami had always thought that you can't really tell when someone's in love just by looking at their face.

Well, Kise proves him wrong.

The feeling is one-sided from Kise's side, though; Aomine doesn't seem to even notice his existence. Kise goes as far as joining the basketball club with no prior experience of the game just to be closer to Aomine. Thanks to his ability to be able to copy others, he plays well from the beginning – but all Aomine offers him is a gruff 'well done' every now and then.

It kills Kise, of course, to be ignored like that by the guy he's fallen head over heels in love with. Luckily he has Kagami, the ideal best friend who's always there to comfort him. That's why Kise runs to him without a fail whenever Aomine's lack of interest gets too much for him to handle alone. It's not exactly a pleasant job, but Kagami feels an odd sense of superiority every time Kise cries against his shoulder.

He feels needed. That's a nice feeling, considering his parents live in America and don't keep in touch with him that often, and he's never had any luck with girls – not that he's ever had a girl he's really liked.

When he starts thinking about it, Kise has always been such a big part of his life that he hasn't even had time to develop a crush on someone. It's weird, but Kagami doesn't mind. After all, lovers may come and go, but friendship is forever, so if Kise consumes all of his time, then so be it.

And that's why he lets Kise in even in the middle of the night if the blonde comes knocking on his door, asking to talk with Kagami. _A friend in need is a friend indeed, isn't that what they say,_ he thinks, and allows Kise to sleep in his bed while he himself occupies the sofa.

Yes, Kagami Taiga is ready to do pretty much anything for his best friend.

* * *

Kagami isn't quite sure when exactly it happens, or if it's always been that way and he just hasn't noticed, but one day he comes to a somewhat confusing realisation: he's in love with Kise. No doubt about it.

Being the perfect friend he is, he can't tell Kise. He knows the blonde needs his support, not the awkwardness that would surely follow if he were to confess. So he keeps his mouth shut and pretends nothing's changed.

Completely oblivious of his friend's inner war, Kise keeps coming to Kagami whenever he wants to vent his frustration. All Kagami hears during the three years of high school is Aomine this, Aomine that.

It really, really hurts and Kagami finally starts to fully understand the pain Kise's been in.

That doesn't make him hurt any less, though.

High school goes by in a flash and Kise never summons the courage to confess to Aomine. On graduation day, Kagami finds Kise on the roof top, crying because Aomine gave all of his buttons to some random girls who asked for them.

"I'll give you mine, so stop crying, okay?" Kagami means it as a joke, all he's trying to do is cheer Kise up. He knows very well Kise really wanted at least one of Aomine's buttons and Kagami giving him all of his buttons wouldn't mean anything.

Still, Kise smiles through his tears and accepts Kagami's offer.

(And in that moment he looks so beautiful that Kagami can't help but wish that Kise would become his someday.)

* * *

Kise wows he'll do his best to forget about Aomine once they start their first year in university. It could be the chance Kagami's been waiting for, but it's not, as it turns out that Aomine goes to the same school.

How could there be any room for Kagami when the love of Kise's life finally acknowledges his existence?

There isn't, Kagami notices soon. Kise doesn't need a shoulder to cry on anymore, nor does he need someone who'll support him through the process of forgetting a one-sided love. In high school, Aomine dated only girls and barely noticed Kise being there; now, he's all over the blonde, showering him with ridiculous amounts of displays of affection.

Kagami can't for the life of him figure out what makes Aomine acknowledge Kise's existence so suddenly and neither can Kise. The only difference is that while Kise's ecstatic, Kagami's developing strong feelings of resentment towards Aomine.

Because he's jealous, obviously.

But he can't really say anything. It's his own fault for not confessing to Kise when he was available, so all he can do is try to pretend to be happy for his best friend and listen to hundreds of stories of how perfect a boyfriend Aomine is.

Worst of all: Kise keeps boasting about how good Aomine is in bed.

After acting all supportive and shit at school Kagami often cries himself to sleep.

* * *

Starting to date someone whose existence you barely noticed just weeks earlier is enough to make Kagami feel confused, but he's even more baffled when Aomine asks Kise to move in with him. Isn't a bit rushed to move in with someone you've dated for only a few weeks?

Of course the blonde agrees, what else would he do when the love of his life wants to live with him? Kise's all over the place, buying things, throwing this and that away, packing clothes, looking for cheap flats.

There really is no room for his best and most loyal friend in his mind.

No matter how hard he wishes for it, Kagami can't seem to be able to summon a force to break the love birds apart. They really seem to be doing just fine, no dark clouds in the horizon whatsoever. In fact for the two of them everything's so perfect it seems like a relationship out of those stupid dramas Kagami's always been forced to watch with Kise.

(Except he can't really bring himself to say that anything Kise likes is stupid.)

It's annoying that Kagami has to see Aomine as well every time he goes to visit Kise, but he puts up with it. He has to, the asshole's treated Kise well, after all; he hasn't cheated on him, beaten him or done anything else that would give Kagami an excuse to ask Kise to break up with him.

Unfortunately Kagami not liking Aomine doesn't count as a reason for the blonde to dump his boyfriend. Nor does the fact Kagami's utterly and hopelessly in love with his best friend.

Especially since Kise's completely oblivious of his feelings.

Even if it's exactly what he's hoped for (something bad happening between Kise and Aomine), Kagami is stunned when one night Kise shows up at Kagami's place and begs Kagami to let him sleep there. The request itself isn't what stuns Kagami, it's the blood dripping from his cut lip and the colourful bruise the blonde's sporting on his otherwise perfect face.

Kise doesn't want to talk about it which, in addition to the fact that instead of being at home, he's at Kagami's place, tells Kagami that Aomine's responsible for the injuries.

Kise has to call the police, tell them his boyfriend hit him, he has to do it now – but no, of course not. 'It wasn't Aominecchi's fault, I just ran into a door.' And so on.

God, Kagami wants to punch something. Or rather some_one_.

Okay, if Aomine loses his temper and hits Kise once and Kise _sw__ears_ it won't happen again (he never even admits it was Aomine though) then maybe, just maybe, he can let them stay together without interfering.

If it ever happens again, he will call the police and tell them about Aomine's violent tendency, no matter what Kise says.

Except he won't, apparently, since Kise comes to him again, all bruised and battered, and refuses to go to the police. Kagami wants to shake Kise and force him to change his mind, but he already knows that would amount to nothing, so he drops it.

All he can do is wish there won't be a third time. But when have any of his wishes been granted?

Never, that's when. This time is no exception.

In high school Kise would come crying to his best friend whenever he needed a shoulder to cry on; now the blonde keeps coming to Kagami's place whenever he's had a fight with Aomine. After the first time Kise's face stays safe, but the rest of his body sustains even worse damage. The bruises come and go, sometimes there are scars, burn marks and at times even broken bones. Kagami can't even visit Kise anymore in fear of losing it and attacking the cause of Kise's suffering, the worthless excuse of a human whom Kise still calls his boyfriend.

Despite the abuse he goes through, Kise adamantly refuses to go to the police.

He claims he's fine while his face looks horrible with the old, still not completely healed bruise and the rest of his body is decorated with all kinds of marks. The only consolation Kagami has is that after the first time Kise doesn't even try to tell him he fell or anything like that (but he doesn't exactly admit it's Aomine either).

He doesn't really need to; Kagami's known him long enough to see through him when he needs to.

Kagami begs Kise to leave Aomine, he could accommodate the blonde until he finds a new place, he would do anything for his best friend.

(As it happens, his best friend is also the person he loves. But that isn't necessary for Kise to know.)

Kise says he sees no reason to leave Aomine. After all, 'Aominecchi is so much more than what I deserve'.

Kagami wants to scream.

The mere thought makes him grit his teeth, but for the sake of Kise's health, he has to talk to Aomine.

The asshole has the guts to tell him that he has no idea what he's talking about. Oh, and even if he was beating Kise, it surely wouldn't be Kagami's business, would it? And then he slams the door in Kagami's face.

On the way home Kagami kicks a lamp post, wishing from the bottom of his heart it was Aomine.

* * *

Friday night. Streets are filling with people on their way to meet their lovers, friends, anyone who's willing to spend time with them. Kagami isn't one of them; instead of going out to have fun, he's at home.

With a bleeding Kise.

Kagami squeezes the glass he's holding so hard it almost breaks. He wants to fucking _help_, not just sit there and watch while Kise slowly dies inside.

"Why do you love him?" Kise looks up, surprise in his eyes. His lip is cut, again, and his cheek is slowly swelling. The sight of his beautiful face in such a mess makes Kagami cringe. _The asshole's hit Kise in the face only once before this… why did he do it again?_

(The best alternative would be that Aomine would never hit Kise anywhere again, of course, but Kagami knows that's way too much to ask for.)

"Why wouldn't I? Aominecchi is really nice, it's just…" Kise trails off and turns to stare out of the window.

"It's just that he beats the living shit out of you every once in a while," Kagami offers, keeping his eyes fixed on Kise. The blonde flinches and tears well in his eyes.

"I'm really happy with him. For real, I thought he would never return my feelings, so being with him, after so many years, I… it's way more than what I should have. He's a good man, you know, and even if he doesn't always treat me so well, it's only because I deserve it."

Kagami nearly chokes on his water. "_Deserve_ it?! Do you even hear yourself, Kise? What kind of a person _deserves_ to be hit? Wait, don't answer. I'll tell you. No one deserves to be in an abusive relationship, no matter what they do. _No one_, okay? So please promise me that when you go home, it'll only be to get your stuff and to tell him you're leaving."

Kise doesn't say anything. He fiddles with the ice pack he's been pressing against his cheek to stop the swelling and keeps his eyes to the floor. Kagami waits.

He already knows what Kise is going to say, but he still hopes. In vain, it turns out, when the blonde finally meets his gaze with a defiant 'I'm not going to leave Aominecchi'.

_Why do you want to stay with someone who's hurt you so much so many times?_

The words die on Kagami's lips. He can't start a fight with Kise, he needs to be there to support the blonde, not tell him he's wrong (even though he is) and right now Kagami could end up hitting the other man himself if he said one more word to defend the abusive asshole and degrade himself.

He needs to cool down and wait until Kise's already sleeping so that they can't fight. Maybe he'll go for a short walk, just to let off some steam.

Kagami gets up and feels Kise's curious eyes on him.

"There's food in the fridge, so if you're hungry, feel free to eat."

The door slams shut, probably leaving a confused Kise to wonder what he said or did wrong.

* * *

When they were in middle school, Kise and Kagami kissed. Just once, as a joke. Neither of them thought about it afterwards.

At least not until Kagami fell in love with Kise. Kise, who had probably forgotten all about the kiss a long time ago. Two stupid teenage boys, fooling around, doing all kinds of crazy things when provoked enough; what's the meaning of a kiss under circumstances like that?

Now, Kagami often thinks about that kiss. He's pretty sure it's just a false recollection, but he always thinks how much Kise's lips tasted like strawberry.

Was it some chap stick that had a strawberry flavour? Or had they eaten strawberries that day, moments before their lips met? Would Kise still taste like strawberries if they kissed now, years later?

After wandering around for a bit, lost in thought, Kagami ends up coming out of the nearby convenience store with a box of strawberries.

How silly. Not to mention pointless. Nevertheless, he leaves the berries in the fridge when he gets back home, hoping that Kise will have them for breakfast.

_And then what? Eating them will magically make him want to kiss you and dump that violent fucker or something? Stop dreaming, idiot. You're way too old for that. _

In the morning Kise's gone. So is the box of strawberries.

Kagami's pretty sure the blonde's taken them home to share with the pathetic excuse of a boyfriend he has.

_See? Life is no fairy tale where berries can make miracles happen._

Kagami really wishes he could find a way to get away with murder. But first he needs to stop crying.

* * *

**A/N: **I originally planned to write a one-shot but somewhere along the way I started thinking it'd be better to split it into at least two chapters. So yeah, there'll be more.

This was also supposed to be more about the abusive relationship between Aomine and Kise and less about Kagami's feelings towards Kise, but what do you know… I'm sorry I fail OTL

I really like getting reviews, otherwise I won't know whether I'm doing a good job or not, so if you have time, please do review! I'll try to update as soon as possible. ヾ(＾∇＾)


	2. Chapter 2

**Warnings:** Abusive relationship, AoKise, language. A healthy dose of angst.

* * *

In high school Kise falls in love. It's the first time Kise has ever felt anything like that. Sure he's had crushes on various girls and even one guy, but with Aomine it's the real thing. He falls so hard so fast that he doesn't really know what to do with himself.

Joining the basketball club is crazy, he knows it, but he does well and the other members get along with him and he has fun.

And best of all, he gets to be close to Aomine.

Not that it changes anything, though; Aomine dates girls and barely notices Kise's existence. That's okay, the blonde's had one-sided feelings before, so he can pull himself through this too.

And if he can't, Kagami's always there to support him. No matter what time of the day it is, Kagami always lets him in if he wants to talk and he never complains when Kise ruins his shirts with tears and snot.

The ideal best friend. Kise is so, so glad to have Kagami.

To Kise, high school is a blur of heart ache, exams and crying. On their graduation day, he watches as all of Aomine's buttons disappear to some random girls who giggle and blush madly as they scamper away with their bounty.

He wishes he had the courage to go there and say, 'Please give me a button too'.

But then everyone would find out he likes Aomine and that'd be embarrassing. So he plasters a smile on his face and escapes.

_Smile, Ryouta, smile. SMILE._

_(Cry when no one can see you.)_

It's Kagami who finds from the rooftop, crying his eyes out. Of course it's Kagami, sometimes it feels like the guy has a fucking compass that points to Kise instead of north. Kise sniffles miserably, trying to get his act together.

"I'll give you mine, so stop crying, okay?" Kagami blushes faintly as he says it, and for a moment Kise just stares.

Kagami knows how irrationally in love Kise is, so surely he realises that giving his buttons to Kise doesn't really fix anything, but still… isn't he the sweetest for cheering Kise up like that?

If only Aomine was like that.

But no, it's Kagami who offers his buttons to Kise, so the blonde smiles at Kagami and accepts the offer.

He already feels a little better. But that's nothing new, since Kagami's always had a calming effect on him.

_Kagamicc__hi will make the best boyfriend to someone one day,_ Kise thinks as they walk home together.

* * *

University is the perfect chance for Kise to start a new life with no regrets about Aomine. He wows he'll get over his first love and Kagami says he'll support Kise. Naturally.

A change of plans comes along in the form of Aomine attending the same university.

It really shouldn't be happening, because how could Kise ever recover from his broken heart if he keeps seeing the person in question without being anything to him?

Except it's different. Aomine sees him, acknowledges his existence and even confesses to him – it must be a dream.

But it hurts when Kise pinches his cheek. So it's really happening, then?

It is, and soon they're moving in together and Kise can't stand how happy he is.

They're doing just fine, if not for the occasional bickering about small things, like Aomine leaving his clothes lying around or Kise spending way too much time getting ready every time they go out. But those are the kind of things all couples fight about, so it's not worrisome. They might say all kinds of things to each other in the heat of the moment, but they always apologise and forgive each other very quickly.

The make-up sex is amazing, too, so Kise secretly likes fighting with Aomine.

He's just so damn happy to finally be together with the one he loves.

Happiness never lasts long, but in Kise's case it's extremely short-lived.

What starts as a regular fight ends in Kise staring at Aomine with wide eyes while holding his cheek.

Cheek, that just seconds earlier was in contact with Aomine's hand. Now it's swelling and by the way it stings when he opens his mouth, Kise suspects his lip is cut.

It must be a mistake. Aomine isn't the kind of a person who hits others.

"A- Aominecchi…?"

The other man looks startled when he meets Kise's gaze.

"I'm so sorry, Kise, I didn't mean to – I just lost it for a second, and I… I'm so sorry, please forgive me!"

Kise nods, feeling numb. Of course it's a misunderstanding, there's no way Aomine would hit him on purpose. He still feels like he wants to get out for a while, get away from Aomine.

"It's okay, I know you wouldn't hurt me. I just…" Kise swallows. What is he supposed to do? He knows it won't happen again, Aomine isn't violent, they're in love and everything's going to be just fine, but still…

"I think I'll go to a friend's for the night, though. Just… I'll be gone this night, okay?"

Aomine nods, and there's still panic in his eyes. Kise leans closer and kisses him. "I love you, Aominecchi, so don't worry. I'll be back tomorrow."

Kagami lets him in, as he always does, and looks startled when he sees Kise's face. He asks if it's Aomine's doing and they should call the police if it is, and Kise says no, he ran into a door. Or something like that, he doesn't bother to pay attention. Kagami probably knows he's lying anyway, so what's the point in coming up with a good excuse?

The next day, Aomine apologises a million times and promises to do whatever he can to make Kise forgive him. It's nice, and Kise sees that Aomine genuinely regrets hitting him, so he forgives him. It's only once, and it's an accident, so it's okay. Who knows, maybe Kise himself could be so mad at Aomine that he'd hit him when they're fighting someday?

Kise almost forgets having been hit by Aomine. Every time he looks into a mirror he remembers, because the bruise just won't disappear, but otherwise he tries to push the memory away. Because Aomine isn't the kind of a person who hits his lover, and it won't happen again.

* * *

_It won't happen again,_ Kise thinks to himself when Aomine comes home in the middle of the night totally drunk and clearly in a mood for a fight.

"Why d'I hafta have you waitin' for me at home instead of some pretty girl with big breasts?"

The blonde freezes upon hearing Aomine's words. _A girl with big breasts is what he wants, huh?_ "I can't really help being a guy, Aominecchi…"

Aomine snorts and slumps onto a chair. "You'd be perfect if you were a woman, though. Big boobs and a pretty face, that's the stuff. Man, why can't you jus' be a woman?"

_No, no, no, no, please no. He loves me, even though I'm not a woman. This is just the alcohol talking._

_But what if he really wants to date someone with big breasts?_

"…so are you going to dump me or something?"

Aomine looks at Kise with eyes glazed by alcohol. "Why would I? At least I get laid when I'm wit' you, even if you have a dick."

It takes all of Kise's will power to not burst into tears. Is sex all he's good for in Aomine's eyes?

"C'mon, baby, I wanna fuck." Aomine pulls him closer and tries to bend him down for a kiss, but Kise fights back. Aomine smells like alcohol and his eyes are weird, Kise doesn't want to do anything when he's like that. And if the tanned man really only wants him for his body and even that isn't good enough for him since Kise doesn't have boobs, then why the hell should the blonde have sex whenever Aomine wants it?

Kise breaks away from Aomine's arms and makes for the bedroom door. If he can get in there, he's safe; he can lock the door and if Aomine tries to break the door or something, he'll call the police –

A hit lands on Kise's back, knocking him to the floor. As he lies there, trying to fathom what just happened, Aomine steps closer.

_(Whatwhyidon'twantthistohappenwhydidhehitmeagainit reallyhurts)_

"You gonna run away, huh?" Kise can smell the alcohol on the other's breath as he leans above the blonde.

_Please, Aominecchi, just stop already and let me go!_

"Where are ya gonna go to? To that Kagami guy who always hangs around you like a puppy?"

"Don't talk about Kagamicchi like that!"

Aomine startles a bit, when Kise raises his voice, and pulls away, allowing Kise to get up. "Please, Aominecchi, just go to sleep. You're drunk and I know you don't mean anything you say right now."

This time Aomine's punch connects with Kise's stomach, and the pain in his heart is just as real as the pain from the punch. As Kise falls on his knees, he hears Aomine muttering to himself something about how a girl would've just let him do it already.

Haven't they been happy? Didn't Aomine tell Kise he loved him just yesterday? Why would something like this happen?

No, it's fine. Aomine's only saying that because he's drunk. As soon as Kise catches his breath he dashes towards the entrance, grabbing his shoes, coat and wallet, and he almost gets out before Aomine's fingers are around his arm, squeezing it painfully tightly.

"Kise, what're you doin'?"

"I'm going to Kagamicchi's place for tonight!" Kise pulls his arm free and damn it stings, it's probably going to bruise. He manages to slam the door in Aomine's face and yes the lift is in their floor, he's safe!

In the lift Kise puts on his clothes and slumps to the floor. His whole body shakes as he fights back his tears. _It wasn't supposed to happen again, Aominecchi promised…!_

The way to the metro station is short, so Kise decides to run. Not that he's scared of Aomine maybe following him or anything, he just really wants to get to Kagami, because Kagami always knows how to make him feel better and right now he desperately needs company. Not Aomine's though.

"Kise come back!" Oh shit. Aomine couldn't be on their balcony, could he? Kise glances up and sees Aomine leaning against the balcony railing, shouting down at him.

"That guy could never be as good to you as I am!" _Good? Hitting your lover is being good to him? It might be that I'll never love Kagamicchi as much as I love you, but at least he doesn't hit me._

"KISE! Answer me will ya?!"

Kise pulls the hood of the coat over his head and runs. _Please stop, shut up, this is already humiliat__ing and I hate you I'm so disappointed please stop please Aominecchi just stop -_

"Yeah, you go to your lover boy, slut! Why do you even bother comin' back here when you've got him?! You dirty, disgustin' WHORE!"

It's because he's drunk. If Aomine was sober, he'd never say those things. Never. He doesn't hit Kise, he's a good man, and good god _why_ does Kise still love him so much it hurts?

* * *

The first time was an accident and the second time Aomine was drunk. Kise swears that if there's a third time, he'll stop forgiving and just leave. Kagami supports him, as always; he says Kise could stay at his place if he leaves Aomine.

But no matter how many times Aomine hits him after that, sober more often than not, Kise can't do it. He always leaves their flat, fully intending to change something, maybe even call the police, but by the time he reaches the metro station, he doesn't know what to do anymore. He wants to stop hurting, but at the same time he wants to stay with Aomine, even if it means getting beaten.

Somehow he always ends up at Kagami's door, begging to spend the night.

(And Kagami lets him in, of course, and he never says anything, but Kise knows he knows.)

The worst of it all is that no matter what Aomine does to him, all he has to do is think about how happy they have been and all is forgiven. Because Kise still thinks that there's been a mistake somewhere along the road, that Aomine's not really a violent person and he loves Kise just as he is.

Except Aomine might genuinely wish that Kise was a girl. That's what all of their fights seem to be about nowadays, and when Kise begs Aomine to stop, saying that he can't become a woman no matter how much Aomine or anyone else wishes for it, Aomine hits him.

_It won't hurt as much once I get used __to it,_ Kise remembers having thought. Now all he can do is laugh at that thought. Every time Aomine's fist sinks into his stomach, a cigarette sinks into his arm, whatever method Aomine chooses to hurt him with, something deep within Kise breaks.

His soul, maybe? If that's what it is, he wishes his soul was made of something that could take anything without breaking.

His heart, on the other hand, seems to be made of something unbreakable, what with the way he still loves Aomine after all the suffering the other man's put him through. It's illogical, irrational and he wants nothing more than to rip his feelings away and move on with his life.

But he can't. On the rare occasions they don't fight, Kise curls into a cat-like ball next to Aomine and whispers into his ear how much he loves him. And Aomine swears he returns the feelings and that he'll never hurt Kise again and for a moment everything's fine again. Everything's the way it was before the first time.

But then something sparks a fight again, and Kise knows they'll never go back to that picture perfect happiness they once had.

* * *

In middle school, Kise has a crush on Kagami. It's the first time he ever likes a boy and it confuses him.

Especially since it's Kagami, his best friend since early childhood. Isn't falling in love with a childhood friend kind of like falling in love with your brother? That's what Kise remembers hearing somewhere, and that's why he deems it hopeless.

All he wants is to kiss Kagami once, and then he'll give up.

They're together almost always, doing all kinds of stupid things and getting into trouble for it. That's why it isn't difficult for Kise to convince Kagami to kiss him. Afterwards he says it's a joke, and all returns to normal. Kagami's a little embarrassed, maybe, but he lets it slide, it's just a joke after all, and they can still be friends like nothing ever happened.

It takes its time, but Kise works hard to get over Kagami, because dammit, he can't risk their friendship over something like harbouring one-sided feelings for the redhead.

Then he meets Aomine and forgets all about ever liking Kagami.

_Wouldn't it be great if Kagamicchi __had liked me too back then __and __either of us had confessed? He'd make the perfect boyfriend, that's for sure… _

Kise sighs and regards his bruised face in the mirror. _Wake up, Ryouta. That was years ago, and this is your reality right now. So go to school, work, meet your friends__ -__ and most important of all: remember to smile. You're stronger than Aominecchi's punches, after all._

_(Cry when no one can see you.)_

* * *

**A/N: **Oh god, Aomine became an even bigger asshole than I originally intended him to be. D: My writing never goes as planned, huh?

You probably noticed, but because it's pretty much chapter one from Kise's POV, the story doesn't progress. I'm sorry about that TAT I thought it's important to tell the story from both sides. Chapter three will take the story further, though, so please don't kill me. /gets shot

Also, thanks for the reviews, favourites and follows! I never have confidence in my writing so it's nice to hear people like it ;w;

And because I like long author's notes: the title of the story is from a song, Kevlasrsjäl by Kent. I recommend checking it out, because it fits the story (at least IMO) and yes I know it's in Swedish but Google is a friend. C:

PS. I always love getting feedback so feel free to review/favourite/follow if you like it.


	3. Chapter 3

**Warnings:** Abusive relationship, language, AoKise, one-sided KagaKise.

* * *

The old bruise on Kise's cheek hasn't healed completely when Aomine hits him in the face again.

The day's been perfect; they haven't fought about anything, they've had a romantic dinner (which ended with them having sex on the kitchen floor – Kise makes a mental note of never doing that again because it's extremely uncomfortable) and just when Kise is about to suggest that they should go to sleep to avoid the chances of a fight breaking out, Aomine decides it's a good time to ask if he's the first guy Kise has liked.

And wow, where did even come from?

Kise answers nonetheless, because he can't lie to Aomine and getting caught about lying would most likely end with severe injuries anyway.

"Actually I used to have a bit of a crush on Kagamicchi when we were in middle school." Include a bit of nervous laughter, and the conversation's done.

Except it's not, because Aomine grabs his arm and squeezes so hard it brings tears to Kise's eyes.

"Oh yeah? You used to fancy your best friend? And yet he's the one you always run to for advice when we have problems." There's real malice in Aomine's voice, and when the squeeze on Kise's arm tightens, the blonde comes to a shocking realisation.

He's scared of Aomine.

He's scared of what the man might do to him if he does something to upset him. It's fucked up, because nobody should be scared of the one they love, but Kise most definitely is.

_No, this is not the one I fell in love with. My Aominecchi is the sweetest guy, a bit arrogant maybe, but very thoughtful and he genuinely cares about his friends. This one is someone else. This is not the Aominecchi I fell in love with._

But what if it is? What if Aomine has always had the violent tendency in him and Kise just didn't see it before they got together?

Aomine's punch hurts so much. Not only Kise's face but his heart as well.

_Why can't I just let go of my feelings for Aominecchi? Kagamicchi's right, I should call the police. I should leave. I should hate Aominecchi. I should…_

Kise's thoughts are jumbled as he pushes Aomine away and escapes from their home – how many times has that happened this month? It doesn't even feel like a home anymore; home is a place where you feel safe, and Kise most definitely does not feel safe in the flat he shares with Aomine.

(He wouldn't feel safe anywhere near Aomine, but that's a thought he doesn't want to finish, so he pretends it never even came across his mind.)

* * *

This time Kagami looks positively ready to kill someone – Aomine, namely - and when Kise says Aomine hits him only because he deserves it (although he doesn't even think that way so where the hell did those words come from), Kagami nearly snaps.

All that happens is that Kagami goes out, slamming the door very loudly, and Kise can't help the tears. He feels so stupid, worthless, annoying. Why does Kagami have to have someone like him for a best friend, someone who doesn't care about himself enough to get out of a relationship that's slowly killing him on the inside?

* * *

The next time Kise shows up at Kagami's door, bruised and battered as always, Kagami really loses it. He's had enough of watching Kise suffer and his heart just overwhelms with how much he just wants to take the blond for himself and keep him safe, treat him like a fucking princess.

Because Kise deserves no less than that.

"Why the fuck do you have to do this to yourself?! And to me? I can't stand seeing you like this, just please stop it…" Ugh, Kagami's so sick of crying and he really doesn't want to cry in front of Kise, but he can't help it. The tears start falling before he can stop them.

When was the last time Kise saw Kagami cry? Probably when they were kids. And even then Kagami wasn't much of a cry-baby. Oh god, Kise really is the worst best friend ever, making Kagami cry.

_Say something, make him feel better!_ Yes, it's good advice and exactly what he should do, talk to Kagami, but his mouth refuses to open, and they both just stand there like idiots, Kagami crying, Kise staring at him with wide, fearful eyes.

"…you shouldn't waste your tears on me, Kagamicchi. I mean… it's not like it's going to change anything, and I feel really horrible for making you cry." Kise's voice is small, and he has to fight back his own tears.

Kagami looks at him, suddenly full of fighting spirit.

"I can't help it, okay?! I know it won't change anything, but I – I love you so much it hurts even without having to see you with that worthless fuck, but you - you just don't understand anything!"

Just as the words have left his mouth, Kagami regrets saying them. He promised to himself he'd never tell, because it would just make things awkward between him and Kise, and he's resisted the temptation to just blurt everything out for so long…

But now, in just a few seconds, all that effort has gone to waste. What the hell did he fight so hard for, if he was only going to end up yelling 'I love you' to Kise's face? They both freeze, again, and stare at each other, each wary of what the other will say next.

Kise can't react. Time stops, _no, it can't be, Kagamicchi is not in love with me, we're friends, I have Aominecchi – the fuck you do, he's an abusive asshole who doesn't even love you – shut up, why am I fighting with myself?_

And then his mouth opens and produces words.

"I'm so sorry."

What is he even apologising for? He doesn't know, but it doesn't really matter, because right now the only thing he can say is I'm sorry.

He repeats it until he feels sick. But he really is sorry. He's sorry for loving someone like Aomine, for being such a shitty friend, for not being able to return Kagami's feelings, for making Kagami cry, he's so sorry he even exists. He's sorry for everything, anything, he doesn't even know what all.

And the apologies just keep pouring out of his mouth.

* * *

"…Kagamicchi told me… that he's in love with me."

For real Kise doesn't know why he even decides to tell Aomine that.

_I mean, remember what happened when you told him you used to have a crush on Kagamicchi? Really clever move, Ryouta._

But he doesn't even care what Aomine will do to him. He just wants to get it out of his chest, and Aomine just happens to be the first person he can tell it to, so fuck the consequences. At least he feels a little better.

The silence that follows his words makes Kise think that maybe Aomine didn't hear him. So he says it again, a bit louder this time.

"I was surprised though, because Kagamicchi has never acted the least bit like he'd be interested in me. Or anyone else, for that matter." Oh yeah, that is true. Kagami has never dated anyone, or even told Kise there was someone he liked. The blonde's never thought about it before, but it is a bit weird.

Wait.

It couldn't be that Kagami's always liked him and that's why he hasn't bothered with anyone else?

The mere thought that maybe, maybe Kagami liked him back in middle school when Kise himself had a crush on the redhead causes an uncomfortable pain in Kise's chest.

He never gets to examine the reasons behind that feeling when Aomine suddenly grabs his collar and nearly chokes him in the process.

"I knew it. You've been shamelessly fucking around behind my back, haven't you? You seduced him, and now you come here to tell me how you're surprised that he's fallen for you. Well you shouldn't be, isn't that what you wanted?"

Aomine lets go and Kise falls to the floor, gasping for air.

"You little whore."

Aomine's words hurt way more than the kick that follows them. _Why do I forgive him for calling me like that? I shouldn't. But if I leave now, w__here can I go? I doubt that Kagamicchi wants to see me after what happened last time._

_And why does Aominecchi think I've been sleeping with Kagamicchi anyway? And why should he care, it's not like he loves me or anything -_

"I don't really know why you would want to whore around with guys, but fuck it makes me sick just to think that I'm stuck with someone like you!" Aomine grabs Kise by his collar again, and hauls him off the floor.

"Why do you even bother coming back here, like some pathetic puppy that can't survive on its own? You've got your Kagamicchi and if he loves you, shouldn't you be with him?!"

"No, I – we're just friends, I love you, Aominecchi…" _I don't really,__though__. I hate you, I want to leave you, I'm _scared _of you. _

_So why do I still come back here?_

Usually when Aomine beats him, Kise just bites his lip and waits for it to end. Because it always does eventually. But now, Aomine just keeps hitting him, kicking him, throwing him to the floor, all the while spouting hurtful words to his face.

And he just won't stop.

"P-please, Ao-" Kise chokes on blood; he reckons the stuffiness of his nose is because it's bleeding all over him. "Aominecchi… I really haven't-"

He doesn't even understand what's going on anymore. Aomine's never been like this. All the previous times he's hit Kise, they've had a fight before it. But now…

Why would Aomine accuse him of sleeping around when all he did was say Kagami had confessed to him? Why would Kagami's one-sided feelings mean Kise's been unfaithful? It's not fair.

It's really not fair, and it just makes him so much madder at Aomine.

Kise gathers all the remaining strength in him and kicks Aomine's shin. The other man stumbles. If only Kise could make it the door…!

But of course Aomine just has to be faster than him and tackle him to the floor with a precise kick.

_(OhgodwhydidItellhimIshouldn'thavepleaseKagamicchi saveme)_

It's the first time Kagami isn't there when Kise needs him. It's the first time Kise really realises how much he's always relied on the redhead, how much he needs someone who genuinely enjoys helping him, and tells him he's worth spending time with –

No, not just anyone. It has to be Kagami. They've been together always, and Kagami has pretty much become a part of Kise. He wonders if maybe it's the kind of connection twins have.

But just as that thought has occurred to him, he decides that it's definitely different. He and Kagami aren't related. And that's good.

Oh.

Maybe he still likes Kagami after all?

"You know what? If you're really going to run away from me, you can. But I wonder if anyone can love you. After all, you're just a whore, swaying your ass for anyone, and yet you always come back here and act like an innocent little boy." Aomine slams Kise's head into the wall and _bloody hell_ that hurts.

He tries to open his mouth, but no words come out. Just blood and some incoherent mumbling.

Kise's eyes are blurry, he can't think straight – and Aomine just won't stop.

_(He's trying to kill me. I'm going to die. Kagamicchi I'm sorry I think I might love you I think I made a mistake in trying to drown my feelings for you by falling in love with Aominecchi I'm sorry about everything)_

"Stop…"

Aomine doesn't even hear Kise's weak plea. "If you leave me, do you think you could ever find someone who would forgive you time after time, even though you're nothing but a disgrace?! Fucking your best friend behind your lover's back, being all sweet and flirty with every fucking person you see, and just – ugh, why did I ever think it was a good idea to start a relationship with a guy?!"

Of course.

That's where it always goes; Aomine not being able to accept the fact that he might not be as straight as he's always thought. Kise's forgiven him for having a problem with it because it's fine as long as Aomine stays with him.

He won't this time, though. He's had enough.

"…there are plenty of people-" Kise stops to cough some blood, "people who wouldn't hit their lovers, no matter what. Even if they don't love them."

This time Aomine hears him, loud and clear.

And that makes him lose the last bit of sanity he has. His eyes glaze over, as if someone pulled a curtain over them. Then he grabs a vase from the table, yanks Kise's hair, and bashes the whole thing to the blonde's face.

_What?_ That's all Kise has time to think before his legs suddenly no longer support his body and he slips to the floor like a ragdoll.

A single tear drop travels down Kise's cheek and lands on the floor, disappearing into a puddle of blood. _I really am going to die, huh?_

As he lies there, his consciousness slowly draining away from his body, he thinks that maybe it wouldn't be so bad to die right then and there.

At least he wouldn't hurt anymore.

* * *

**A/N: **Soooo it took me a while to update. I'm sorry about that, but this chapter was really difficult to write. Also I got a job recently (or two, to be precise) so I haven't had as much time as before.

Umm… I'm just going to point this out: it's a KagaKise story, so if you're hoping to see Aomine change his ways and live happily ever after with Kise, well, that won't happen. I don't like killing my main characters, though, so don't worry, the story's going to have a happy ending. C:

The next chapter will probably be the last one. Or not, depending on how it turns out while I write. (see that's the problem with me, even if I make plans I never write according to them anyway)

Hmm. Also, I've been thinking I might want to include lemon (KagaKise, ofc) but would you guys be okay with that? I need to practice a bit though, it's been quite a while since I've actually written lemon and not just thought about writing it.

Okay what happened this was supposed to be a short author's note ._.

As always, reviews, favourites and follows are much appreciated (especially reviews since I'd love to hear how I did on this chapter)!


	4. Chapter 4

**Warnings:** KagaKise (yes, finally!), language, AU.

* * *

_Beep._

_Beep._

Oh, is that the alarm? No, wait, his alarm tone isn't a beeping sound, it's a song. (And a darn good one at that; he's always deliberately slow when switching it off so he can listen to it as long as possible.)

_Beep._

Maybe it's Aomine's? That guy doesn't really care what sound his alarm makes since usually he doesn't even wake up when it goes off.

_Beep. _

Come on, he really can't be arsed to get up to switch the damn thing off. Can't Aomine do it, especially if it's his and all?

_Beep. _

Well damn. Maybe he's just going to have to fight the fatigue and get up – that beeping's really getting on his nerves.

_Beep._

His body feels really heavy but he forces his eyes open to see… an unfamiliar environment. Because surely his and Aomine's flat didn't have a fluorescent lamp in the bedroom?

_Beep._

Or a whole bunch of beeping machines and chords that are attached to his arm…?

_Beep._

_I'm in a hospital?!_

* * *

When Kagami gets a call from the hospital saying that Kise's finally awake after a week's unconscious period, the relief is so overwhelming he momentarily loses his ability to speak.

Kise is _alive_.

Kise made it, and Kagami promises himself that things are going to be better from now on.

* * *

Kagami takes a deep breath as he enters Kise's hospital room. It's nowhere near easy to remain calm when he sees that beautiful face covered with bandages and thinks that underneath are scars that might never fully heal. That his beautiful Kise is quite possibly scarred for life.

All because of that Aomine bastard. God if Kagami could get his hands on that guy…!

But right now, he can't stay mad at Aomine. He has to offer Kise support – the blonde needs that. He needs to get Kise to talk to him, to tell him it's okay, that Aomine won't ever get to hurt him again.

"…hey." Well damn, his voice is shaking as he greets the blonde so maybe he's not as composed as he thought he was.

Kise turns his head towards Kagami. He only has one eye visible, the other's hidden by the bandages, but Kagami can see the flash of guilt in it before Kise pulls the cover over his face.

"I'm sorry, Kagamicchi… I can't… I'm sorry I let that… I mean that I let Aomine…" his voice is muffled but Kagami can clearly hear the underlying panic.

They've been friends forever so of course he would recognise even the subtlest changes in Kise's voice.

"It's okay. It's not your fault." Right now, Kagami wishes he could punch Aomine in the face more than ever. Fuck he doesn't want to see Kise cry ever again, especially if it's because of that worthless asshole.

"I'm here, okay? If you want to cry you can, but just promise that you won't blame yourself for what happened." Kise lets the cover fall off his face but he still won't look at Kagami.

"Come on, Kise, I know you feel like crying. And that's okay, it's better to let it out than keep bottling it inside."

Finally the blonde's eyes are on him. Kise looks so lost and helpless, like a child, and as Kagami tries to think of something comforting to say, the blonde's eyes suddenly fill with tears. His whole body tenses as he grips the sheets and just soundlessly lets the tears roll down his cheeks.

Feeling a bit nervous, Kagami steps closer and sits next to the bed. His hand hesitantly reaches to hold Kise's.

For now, just holding Kise's hand like this will be enough.

Until he's let all of that bottled up fear and anxiety about the situation with Aomine out, Kagami will simply stand by his side and support him, just like he's always done.

What comes after that… well, he'll think of something when the time comes. For now, just squeezing Kise's hand as he cries a river is definitely enough.

* * *

The next day Kise waits for Kagami and as soon as the redhead closes the door behind himself, he starts talking.

"I'm sorry I didn't listen to you. I know I should've left him a long time ago, but I just… I didn't know how to tell him. And I kept hoping he'd stop. But I was wrong, and I should've… I'm sorry, okay?"

Kagami nods. He wants to say something, anything, but somehow the way Kise's just stumbling over his words, trying to convey how sorry he is to Kagami, makes him choke.

It's not like any of what's happened is Kise's fault. He never wanted to be hit or fall in love with an abusive asshole. Sure, he could have left Aomine before things got as bad as him being admitted to the hospital, but Kagami knows that victims of domestic violence rarely have the courage to escape.

So for real, he doesn't blame Kise for anything, and he doesn't need the blonde's apologies.

He just wants Kise to recover and move on with his life, forget the asshole and – and – truthfully, Kagami hopes that Kise will choose him. Hasn't he already told the blonde how he feels? And hasn't he always been supportive and shit?

But maybe it's too selfish of him. Maybe Kise will always think of him as a friend only.

And that's okay.

Except it's not. Because Kagami can't bear to see Kise happy and in love with someone else again.

"…Kagamicchi? Are you okay?"

"Huh? Oh sorry, I got lost in thought." Kagami smiles reassuringly and lets Kise go on about how sorry he is and how he'll never be able to thank Kagami enough for always being there for him and man, it feels like Kise just has to talk even though he's said the things for about 5000 times now.

Kagami doesn't mind, though. It's wonderful that Kise's still alive to say those words, to cry those tears, to breathe the air of the hospital room. So what if all the blonde does is apologise and cry?

He's going to get over it someday, surely. All Kagami has to do is be patient and support Kise in whatever he needs to do in order to move on.

(Isn't that what he's best at when it comes to Kise anyway?)

* * *

"…what happened to Aominecchi?"

Of course Kagami knows Kise would ask sooner or later so it's not like the question is unexpected. Still, he hesitates before answering.

"Kagamicchi?"

"…your neighbours figured there was a fight at your place, because of all the yelling and crashing. And well, they called the police." Kagami fidgets, unable to look at Kise. The blonde stays quiet for a long time and Kagami is just about to break the silence when Kise beats him to it.

"The police, huh? So… what happened to him?"

Damn how difficult it is to be the one to break the news to Kise. Kagami almost wishes someone else could do it for him. But no, he can't back out now. _Just__ take a deep breath and –_

"He was arrested for assaulting you and… at the time they didn't know for sure whether you would make it or not, so um..."

"…they thought he tried to kill me?"

"W-well how could they know? I mean the neighbours said there's been a lot of noise and then there was blood and everything…" Kagami trails off. Kise falls silent again and for a moment there's no sound in the room.

"I didn't see it for myself though," Kagami says after a few minutes. Kise doesn't respond.

"I just heard when the police came to the hospital to see whether you'd recover or not. I overheard them talking about it, how badly you'd been injured and then of course they'd noticed some of the old scars too and so they - they kind of figured out it wasn't the first time something like that happened. " _Fuck, why am I ranting like this?! He doesn't probably even want to hear._

"So he's in prison now then?"

The calmness of Kise's voice makes Kagami finally look at him again. No, it's not just calm – it's somehow detached, as if Kise was talking about something that didn't concern him in the least.

It's unnerving. Kagami doesn't want Kise to cry anymore, but seeing him so uncaring isn't much, if any, better.

"…for the time being, yeah."

Kise looks at Kagami and the coldness in his eyes scares the redhead. "I hope I don't ever have to see him again."

Well that Kagami can agree to, and he says as much. Some of the ice in Kise's eyes melts at that and after a few seconds he's crying and apologising.

Again.

_It's probably better to just let him cry until he has no more tears left,_ Kagami muses and gently wraps his hand around Kise's.

* * *

Kagami visits him every day, and Kise feels like he should recover faster to spare the redhead the trouble. Kagami of course claims that it's no trouble at all, he's just fine with going to the hospital every day because he wants to see Kise.

How sweet Kagami is. If only Kise could find a lover as wonderful as him…

Wait.

Didn't Kagami just confess to him before – before he was hospitalised?

Or maybe his memory's just playing tricks on him. It wouldn't be the first thing; since waking up in the hospital, Kise has noticed numerous memories have gone missing. For example he can't quite remember what exactly Aomine did to him to injure him so badly.

But the way Kagami looks at him… his eyes are filled with affection. And damn it makes Kise feel better. It gives him the strength to believe he'll heal and move on, forget even.

At least if Kagami's by his side he will.

If indeed Kagami loves him, then couldn't they have a future together?

The thought makes Kise squirm and blush. Of course he and Kagami have thought of always being together before but that was always only as friends. Now, however, something else could come out of it.

(And Kise knows exactly what he wants that 'something else' to be.)

* * *

The doctor says Kise will be released in three days. Kagami and Kise both cheer at that and start making plans of what they'll do. Of course they'll need to have a party of some kind, but there's also a lot of practical stuff that needs to be arranged.

Kise needs to start looking for a new place to live, for one; in the meantime, he'll be staying with Kagami. Then, he needs to find a therapist because even though it's originally Kagami's idea, Kise wholeheartedly agrees that he needs to talk about what happened between him and Aomine.

"They say that a person who's been in an abusive relationship once has a higher probability to hook up with someone violent again. I don't… I _can't_ go through that a second time so if therapy can do anything, I'll gladly pay however much is needed. Plus I'm sure my parents will help me if I can't manage the fees on my own." Kise smiles sheepishly at Kagami.

"And in addition I'm going to be way more careful when choosing my lover from now on so don't you worry, Kise Ryouta will pull himself through this shit!"

"Yeah, you will," Kagami says and ruffles Kise's hair. Somehow he has a disappointed air to him and Kise wonders if he said something wrong.

Well, Kagami claims he's fine as he takes his leave soon after, wearing that usual smile of his, so maybe Kise just imagined the whole gloominess?

Or maybe it's because Kagami thinks Kise isn't going to return his feelings? If that's the cause of his disappointment, Kise needs to explain. Explain that he just might love Kagami back.

Okay to hell with might – he bloody _knows_ he's in love with the adorable redhead. So there, now all he needs to do is to say it out loud to Kagami.

* * *

The next day Kise waits and waits but Kagami never shows up.

Neither does he on the day after that.

And then it's the day Kise's released. Talk about awkward; if Kagami decides to not show up, Kise has no place to go.

Kise fills out all the needed forms, promises he will come back for a check-up in a few weeks and leaves. Once out of the building he stops. There's no sign of Kagami anywhere, and his phone decides to stay silent as well.

Which probably means Kagami isn't coming to take him home.

_What now?_

Just as Kise's about to call his parents and ask them to pick him up, he hears a familiar voice calling for him.

"Kise! Over here!"

_H__e came after all!_ "…Kagamicchi?"

Kagami steps closer, smiling. "Why are you surprised? Didn't I say I'd let you stay at my place until you find a new flat?"

Kise shifts his weight from one foot to another. It's great that he doesn't need crutches or anything but his left leg still stings a bit when he puts too much weight on it.

"Well, you didn't show up yesterday or the day before so I thought you were mad at me. Or that maybe you didn't want me around anymore after all…"

"What, did you really think I'd visit you at the hospital every day just to tell you that we're no longer friends when you're discharged? Come on now, Kise, let's go home." Kagami extends his hand.

Suddenly Kise's arms are tight around Kagami's waist and the blonde's lips are on his and fuck, Kagami's brain short-circuits.

Because Kise's kissing him.

Kise. Is. Fucking. Kissing. Him.

And it's not the kind of quick, innocent peck they had in middle school either. No, this one's all passionate, wanting, desperate even. Like Kise wants nothing more than to kiss the hell out of Kagami.

And well, who is Kagami to say no to that?

When they break apart for air after a moment or two, they're both flushed and breathing heavily.

There're about a million things Kagami wants to say to Kise but his mouth refuses to move. Kise, on the other hand, looks about ready to burst into tears when the silence between them stretches.

"I - I'm sorry…" Kise wipes his eyes, frustrated. "If you're not okay with… that, I'll just call my parents and –"

Kagami cuts Kise off by grabbing his shoulders. "That's not – I mean, I told you before, right? That I love you. And I'll assume that you kissing me… means you like me too?"

It's as if Kagami doesn't even dare to dream that Kise could actually like him back. But that's ridiculous because Kise most certainly does. Really, how could anyone not fall for someone as precious as Kagami?

"Let's go home then, lover boy," he whispers and laughs when Kagami's face turns completely red.

* * *

**A/N:** Whew, I finally managed to get this done! I was busy with other stuff (like graduation, work, other fics) plus I got a new computer so this is late. I was planning on writing a super long chapter but the flow suffered so I decided to chop it in two. I should be able to upload the second part soon (unless I get a writer's block or sth). The second part will include lemon (gosh I'm really nervous about writing that _ ) but I think it'll be the end.

I also realised that this story has a lot of similarities to a yaoi manga called Amayakana toge. Whoops. I seriously didn't mean to do that. :D (I recommend the manga though, it's one of my favourites)

Okay I'll shut up now but I hope this was even somewhat worth the wait. /rolls away


	5. Chapter 5

**Warnings:** KagaKise, (awkward as hell) lemon. language.

* * *

Kagami has been thoughtful enough to have brought all of Kise's stuff to his place. He's even talked to Kise's landlord and given back the key, as well as asked for a spare key from his own landlord.

And just wow, Kagami really knows how to make Kise happy.

The blonde can't help but smile like an idiot. He must be the luckiest guy on earth to score someone as sweet and devoted as Kagami.

Of course the fact that it took months of being abused by his boyfriend for that to happen might just make him a little less lucky. But that's kind of beside the point; right now Kise's extremely happy and that's enough.

"Kagamicchi," Kise calls as he walks into the bedroom.

"Hm?"

"Are we going to share a bed?"

Kise doesn't even need to see Kagami to know the redhead's blushing. He grins victoriously as he flops on the bed and listens to Kagami telling (more like sputtering) him that he can have the bed, Kagami's fine with sleeping on the couch.

Of course Kise wants to sleep with Kagami (just sharing a bed will be fine for now; he doubts Kagami would even agree to have sex with him anyway until he's fully healed) but then again there's no need to rush anything. If Kagami's too embarrassed – although he shouldn't be, seeing as they've shared a bed multiple times before, even if it's only been as friends – Kise can wait.

* * *

And wait he does, for three whole weeks. Kagami does nothing but occasionally kiss him and maybe hug, but there's not even talking about anything more than that. Like what are they, twelve?!

No, they're 19 and university students, so having sex should be normal.

Even if Kise's body is still littered with bruises and scars and quite honestly he's not too comfortable with undressing in front of other people because of that. But if it's Kagami, it's fine. Kise desperately needs to know that Kagami's fine with all of him.

After all, wasn't it all because of him being a man that Aomine treated him the way he did? What if Kagami has the same reaction?

There's that, and then there's the fact that he's horny.

So Kise gets up from the bed and sneaks into the kitchen where Kagami's preparing dinner. He approaches the other and wraps his arms around his waist from behind. Kagami jumps a little in surprise but before he can say anything, Kise makes his move.

"Kagamicchi, I want to kiss."

Kagami goes red and coughs embarrassedly. "But I'm cooking right now."

"So you care more about cooking than your boyfriend?"

Well that certainly gets Kagami's attention onto him. The redhead whips around and stares at Kise with wide eyes.

"B-boyfriend?!" he sputters. Kise raises an eyebrow.

"Isn't that what we are?" Kagami blushes and suddenly hugs Kise back awkwardly.

"Y-yeah, I suppose." Kise leans into the hug and presses his head onto Kagami's shoulder. Kagami's about as tall as Aomine so no big change there – wait, why is he thinking of that bastard again? It'll do him no good.

If Kise ever wants to properly move on, he's going to have to stop thinking about Aomine.

Which is why he moves his head to kiss Kagami. Gently at first, but that doesn't last long – in a matter of just a few seconds, the food is taken off the stove (Kagami doesn't want to burn it) and the two are in the middle of a heated make out session.

It's the first time they've kissed like this since Kise was released from hospital but it feels so _right_.

There's nothing Kise would want to be different right now. Okay, maybe it would be nice to not have all those scars and memories of a horrible relationship but other than that, Kise's pretty damn happy.

He doesn't feel the least bit nervous about going further than kissing, either; Kagami is so kind and caring, of course he wouldn't hurt Kise for any reason.

_Accidentally maybe,_ Kise thinks as he flinches a bit when Kagami squeezes his arm a little too tight. The redhead retreats immediately.

"Are you okay?" Kagami asks, worried. Kise nods but Kagami doesn't continue.

"Come on Kagamicchi, I won't break, you don't have to treat me like some girl."

Kagami still remains motionless. Kise groans in frustration. "I really want to do this, you know…? So stop worrying about me so much."

"B-but you're still injured, doesn't it hurt?"

"Well maybe a bit but not enough for me to stop now," Kise retorts, extremely irritated by all the stalling. If Kagami refuses to resume touching him one more time with some lame excuse, Kise will seriously kick his ass.

"I'm okay, I promise. But if you don't want to do it right now then I guess it's fine." The best puppy face Kise can do usually works on Kagami so Kise puts all his faith in it.

Kagami kisses him then (Kise congratulates himself in his head), and they continue making out. It feels so amazing to be kissing Kagami, he makes Kise feel so safe in his arms, and damn why did he have to waste so much time with Aomine?!

Kagami's kind of awkward at it though; his touches are clumsy and careful and not really arousing at all to be honest. Kise doesn't mind, he can feel Kagami's feelings through his actions, and feeling so loved is an extremely welcome change. Besides, Kise's always been a skilled kisser so it's just fine if he shows the redhead how to do it properly.

Suddenly Kagami pulls away, his face flushed. Kise steps a bit further and inspects the redhead, trying to figure out what happened.

"I'm… I'm sorry, I…" Kagami shifts uncomfortably.

"It's okay, you can say whatever it is." _As long as you're not going to say you can't do it with me after __all. _

Kagami's blush deepens; his face is almost as red as his hair now.

"…I've never done this kind of stuff with anyone before you and um…" Kagami can't even look Kise in the eye anymore. Instead he turns to look at the wall.

Kise grows more and more anxious the longer Kagami stays silent. _Oh god, he really will say he can't do it with me after all, won't he? We should've talked about it first, I shouldn't have come on to him so suddenly, we shouldn't be together -_

"I'm getting hard…" Kagami finally admits in a whisper.

Kise blinks. Once, twice, then he glances down.

"Oh." It should probably make him uncomfortable, seeing as they've always been just friends, but it doesn't. In fact it gives a very pleasant hum in his stomach.

_Is this really happening? Am I actually going to have sex with Kagamicchi?_

…_yes, yes I am. It's Kagamicchi so it's okay. He won't hurt me. He wouldn't ever make me cry._

_(Unlike Aominecchi.)_

_No, don't think about him right now. I'm with Kagamicchi, and we're going to be fine. Just fine._

"It's okay. I'm a guy too, so I know what it's like." Kise closes the distance between them and presses his lips to Kagami's again.

"A-are you sure you want to do this?"

Kise sighs. Not this again. He's horny, and quite certainly head over heels in love with the redhead so what reason is there no to do it? "No, I just thought it'd be fun to come here, turn us both on and then leave it there."

Kagami laughs nervously at that. "Okay but… I – I don't really know what to do…"

"Right, you haven't done it with a guy before. Don't worry, it's essentially the same as doing it with a girl."

The words are obviously meant to be encouraging, but Kagami only gets more embarrassed. Kise tilts his head to the side and raises a questioning eye brow.

"It's my first time ever." Kagami's definitely going to die soon what with all the embarrassing confessions he's made to Kise, and he can feel his cheeks burning. "And I don't want to disappoint you… I mean what if I suck at it?"

Oh. _Oh._ Of course. Why didn't he realise that earlier? Kagami did say Kise was the first one with whom he'd ever made out so naturally it would follow that he's never had sex before either.

"It's okay, Kagamicchi." Kise grabs Kagami's hand and slowly guides it to the bulge in his pants. The redhead jumps a little at the touch but relaxes when Kise presses a gentle kiss to the corner of his mouth.

"Just stay calm, I'll tell you what to do."

Kagami nods and allows Kise to drag him to the bedroom. They fall on the bed, lips still glued together and hands exploring.

Kise's skin is full of scars and every time Kagami's fingers happen upon one, he cringes. If only he'd had the courage to confess to Kise earlier, they might've got together a long time ago and none of these marks on Kise's skin would be there. The anger he feels towards Aomine gives him courage to keep going though, so maybe he'll think of ways to make the bastard pay for his actions later.

Somehow they both manage to get rid of their shirts. Staring at Kise's naked upper body makes Kagami suddenly realise that this is actually happening, that he's actually going to have sex with Kise. He's fantasised about it many times before, of course, but now it's really happening, and he can't understand anything anymore.

"You look amazing…" Kagami breathes and the blonde smiles fondly.

He leans up to kiss Kagami again, his hands wandering down the redhead's torso until they reach his belt, and Kagami gasps slightly as he feels nimble fingers unbuckling his belt and unzipping his pants. Then Kise's fingers wrap around his cock, making Kagami moan into his mouth.

_What a delicious sound._ Kise can't help but want to hear more. He pulls Kagami closer to himself and grinds their hips together, enjoying the feeling of the redhead getting even harder than before.

"You-you're good at this," Kagami gasps when they break apart for air. Kise grins.

"Well you'd better hold on then because it's about to get better," he replies and Kagami shudders against him.

If it gets any better than this, he'll come in a second and that's not what he wants. Unfortunately Kise doesn't seem to understand Kagami's inner panic: the blonde reaches for the night stand to get a condom and lube, handing them to Kagami.

When their eyes meet, Kagami's full of uncertainty. He opens his mouth, probably to say something about not knowing what to do again, but Kise will have none of it.

He grabs Kagami's hand, pours some lube on it, and somewhat forcefully guides it to his entrance (Kagami can't help wondering when he got rid of the rest of his clothes). "Don't say anything. I want this, I can tell you want it too and that's why I'll make sure you do it right."

It takes a little more persuading before Kagami actually goes further and even then Kise feels the redhead's finger tremble when it enters him. "It's okay, Kagamicchi, calm down…"

Kagami blushes. "I'm sorry, I just… does it hurt?"

"Nope, I'm fine. Keep going." Kise presses another kiss on Kagami's mouth and the redhead seems to gain courage from it because the trembling decreases.

It's been a while since Kise's last done it so he needs a little more time to get used to having a finger inside him. But after the initial feeling of weirdness it starts feeling really good, and Kise can't help whimpering a little.

After a while Kise tells Kagami to add another finger and the other complies, although extremely carefully. Kise thinks that maybe he should prepared himself on his own because it seems like Kagami's going to take forever but then he decides against it. It's better like this, with Kagami experiencing it all on his first time, even if he's really awkward.

Hopefully it'll give him confidence for the next time.

Despite the fumbling and awkwardness Kagami finally manages to start scissoring his fingers inside Kise and damn it feels good. The blonde can't help the moans that escape his mouth – not that he even tries to stifle them as they seem to fuel Kagami up even more. The redhead's fingers move with more ease now, and if Kise shifts just a little to the right –

"Kagamicchi…!" Kise buries his head into Kagami's shoulder as his whole body shivers.

This time Kagami doesn't stop to ask; it seems he can tell that Kise's reaction is one derived from pleasure rather than pain. He aims for the same spot, and Kise can feel his orgasm approaching and fuck it's going to be so good – but wait.

He doesn't want to come, not yet.

Kise pulls at Kagami's hand. "Stop… I want your…" His voice breaks mid-sentence but Kagami seems to understand what he's trying to say either way because he pulls his fingers away and reaches for the condoms instead.

Was it this exciting to have sex with Aomine for the first time? Oh no, why did he think of _him _again. Kise presses his eyes closed and latches his lips onto Kagami's neck to distract himself from the unwanted thoughts.

_(I love Kagamicchi, so I'll be fine. Someday I won't even remember what Aomine looks like.)_

There's a few seconds of Kagami battling to get the condom on himself (his hands are shaking again) but when he does, Kise can't wait anymore. His right hand grabs at Kagami's cock, making the redhead gasp in surprise, and positions it at his entrance.

He doesn't even need to voice out what he wants anymore.

Slowly Kagami slides inside, stopping every few seconds to make sure Kise's not hurting as well as to prevent himself from coming too early. He still feels extremely nervous and unsure of himself, and the fact Kise's done this before makes him really self-conscious of his own inexperience. He wants this to be the best sex Kise's ever had, damn it, not awkward and just plain _bad_.

The way Kise moans and writhes under him kind of makes him think Kise doesn't think it's bad at all, though. Quite the opposite actually. So maybe he's allowed to feel just a little proud of himself?

He moves a little, tentatively, and is rewarded with Kise clawing his back (it hurts) and another delicious moan. He moves again and this time Kise moves with him.

After a few more careful thrusts Kagami sets up a pace that he can keep up without coming immediately and Kise seems satisfied with as well. Kise's hands are kind of cold as they wrap around Kagami's shoulders and hang on to the redhead but even that feels incredibly good right now; usually Kagami hates cold.

The blonde keeps clawing at Kagami's back as the redhead moves deeper into him, and much to his surprise Kagami finds himself liking it. Because doesn't it mean Kise's actually enjoying this? So who cares about a few scratches on his back, Kagami can totally put up with that.

After all, having Kise safe and sound in his arms is worth so much more than a bit of broken skin.

Neither of them lasts long. For Kagami, it's mostly the fact that he's with Kise combined with the fact it's his first time that does him in. And fuck, seeing Kise's face as he nears his orgasm is definitely too much for Kagami's already overly sensitised body.

"Kise, I can't…!"

Kise reaches up to kiss Kagami again and smiles against his mouth. "It's okay…" the blonde wraps his fingers around his own cock, and with a couple of skilled strokes he follows Kagami over the edge.

It's really lame but Kise comes harder than he ever has with anyone he's ever slept with before this. His brains short-circuits, his whole body shivers uncontrollably, and then he just slumps back on the bed, feeling tired but very satisfied.

If Kagami were to get better at sex, Kise's brain would probably explode.

* * *

Kise leans his head against Kagami's shoulder. He feels tired but he also really wants to talk. As a result of his dilemma he keeps shifting until Kagami gets annoyed by it.

"What's wrong?"

"I liked you in middle school," Kise blurts out. Taken by surprise, Kagami frowns.

"I really liked you but I thought it was weird because we were both guys and best friends on top of that. And then we went to high school and Ao- I mean I met him, and all I wanted was to forget you." Kise sniffs and wipes his eyes. "I ended up falling in love with him for real and I thought that it was better than liking you… but I couldn't know what kind of an asshole he would turn out to be, could I?"

Kagami wraps his arms around Kise's slender waist protectively. "It's okay now, it's not your fault."

"…you won't ever start to think I'm disgusting because I'm a guy, right?" Kise hides his face from Kagami by pressing it against his chest.

"Why would I do that?"

Kise doesn't answer right away. "…because he did."

That makes Kagami sit up and grab Kise's shoulders to make the blonde look at him. Kise blinks, surprised.

"Forget him, okay? I love you way more than he ever did and I'll never do anything to hurt. And you know, I didn't fall in love with you because you're a guy, I fell in love with you because you're you. I would love you even if you were a woman because you would still be you."

As soon as whatever burst of courage that made Kagami say that fades, he goes red in the face and loses the ability to speak or move. Kise just keeps staring at him, also incapable of speaking. But not because he's embarrassed; he feels overwhelmed with happiness.

"Choosing you was the best decision of my life," Kise finally admits with a gentle smile on his lips.

Kagami buries his face in his hands. Sure, he's happy beyond words, but… "….can we please talk about something not so embarrassing?"

Kise laughs heartily. Yes, choosing Kagami definitely is the best decision he's ever made.

* * *

**A/N: **First of all: I'm really sorry it took so long! I have a tendency to get really bad writer's blocks every now and then and motivation also runs away from me occasionally so yeah. I fail. OTL

This is actually the first time I've ever written lemon in English (and let's not talk about the horridness of the lemon I wrote in Finnish when I was about 14 :'D). That being said, I really have no confidence in my lemon writing skills so any feedback is much appreciated, be it positive or negative. ;u;

So this is probably the end. I might write some kind of sequel to this, a time skip thingy with Kise and Aomine meeting again or sth, but we shall see about that. I have about a ton of other story ideas I really want to start working on so the sequel really isn't my first priority.

Ehm. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this. It's the first time I've ever completed a multi-chapter fic so I feel a bit weird now. Hopefully you'll read some of my other stories as well…? (ok I'll shut up now for real)


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